


Seven stages of regret

by Hildegarde



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: AS IF WORLD HASN'T HAD ENOUGH OF THEM, Angst, Angst goes for Percy, Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff goes for Solangelo, I've gone too far with my imagination, M/M, Post-The Heroes of Olympus, Regret, Trigger Warning - Miscarriage, Will and Nico are the cutest thing ever, blue pancakes, but ten thousand more things are different, haven't read Hidden Oracle yet but I guess it has some things in common, not-so-golden-boy Percy, solangelo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-09 19:52:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7814899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hildegarde/pseuds/Hildegarde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the lost chance for happines passes on to another person before we realize it was even there.<br/>(Percy's life was supposed to be perfect. But then, the perfect life wasn't really his.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seven stages of regret

**Author's Note:**

> Old work, was really sulky that night haha.  
> Is there anyone who refused to read new Riordan's books and realized it's just a continuation like few months later? Because yes I did. And got to know about it just like a week ago (along with major spoilers thx my dear friend). 
> 
> Anyway, since you're reading this - thanks, people!

When he saw Son of Hades for the first time after coming back from New York, Will Solace was teaching him archery. He saw them laugh while picking up Nico’s missed arrows.  
Nico di Angelo was laughing.  
Nico’s finally getting friends, Percy thought. He felt genuinely happy for his friend, who probably for the first time in forever was starting to feel at home.  
When Nico saw him, he waved to him and caught Will’s hand, both of them appearing right before Percy moments later. Will stood there dumbfounded, with his usual grin and one arrow still in hand. Percy couldn’t help but notice that his hand lingered over Nico’s for a bit too long.

When Jason invited Nico to come with him to New Rome, Percy didn’t expect him to drag son of Apollo with him. Or maybe he did..?  
Percy had proposed to Annabeth two days earlier. Now he felt a bit awkward, receiving congratulations from Nico. He just couldn’t get boy’s confession from two years ago out of his head. He tried to find even the littlest flicker of sadness in Nico’s eyes, but his gentle smile seemed entirely honest.  
Few days later Percy saw, why. It was early morning and he was jogging along the lake shore when he saw someone walking out of just opened café. They didn’t notice him yet, both of them holding sandwiches. Nico said something, furrowing and gesturing at Will’s sandwich, and Will leaned in, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. Nico shifted, but he didn’t look surprised.  
Nico’s finally getting friends, Percy thought half-heartedly.

When Annabeth told him she’s pregnant, he felt really blithe. His beautiful Annabeth was pregnant, he’s gonna be a father! They were already in their sophomore year, living together, planning future. It wasn’t part of the plan, at least not in the nearest future, of course, but they felt optimistic anyway.  
Their families and friends were equally taken aback, of course. But they knew they could count on them anytime. Everything’s gonna be alright, Percy thought. Annabeth started talking about the wedding, here, in New Rome.  
It was just that… He somehow held up calling Nico. Finally Annabeth did it, surprised that the proud father didn’t inform Son of Hades yet. And then, hearing Nico’s voice, Percy for the first time got this impression that something in his life is over.

When they dropped by to visit Camp Half-Blood, Annabeth was in her second trimester already. Pregnancy barely started to be visible on the skinny girl, but she wasn’t feeling well. Annabeth was constantly weak, dizzy, even fainted twice. She had to drop out of university. Percy spent many nights comforting her, fulfilling all of her whims. They said first pregnancy may be difficult, but he saw the way medic averted his eyes while saying it.  
She got better under the care of Chiron. Will often helped them, tactful, bright, with the usual calmness emanating from him. But Percy just couldn’t get himself to like him, they’d never been too close. He tried to avoid him instead.  
Percy didn’t realize how many nights he’d stayed awake until William shooed him away, threatening to force him into infirmary if he didn’t didn’t lie down immediately. So he did.  
First person he saw the following morning, sitting on Poseidon cabin’s steps, was Nico. Son of Hades sat next to him, raising an eyebrow.  
“You look worse than me.”  
Nico was right. He wasn’t this scrawny boy anymore, even the shadows under his eyes finally paled. On the other hand, Percy looked like a malnourished middle schooler. What an irony, he thought. He decided to change the subject.  
“I’m happy for you.”  
“Huh? What do you mean?”  
“William Solace.”  
He could swear that under black strands Nico’s ears went red.  
“But I haven’t told you…”  
Percy smiled, looking in the morning sky.  
This sun was bringing him to tears.

When Annabeth suddenly started feeling worse, they wouldn’t let him in. It was the middle of the night, he was sitting on the path in front of the infirmary, feeling cold in thin shorts and vest. He didn’t know how long they’d been inside.  
He couldn’t tell when it was that his life’d gone astray. He’d been the golden boy, Percy Jackson, the hero. He’d had everything. And suddenly, he hadn’t.  
When the door finally opened and Will came outside, dressed in jeans and his green medical blouse, he thought he’s close to freezing. Will sat in front of him, gathering thoughts. His golden, now messy hair shone in moonlight. What was it that made him so special? What made him better than Percy? What if Percy had realized sooner, what if he tried to untwine it while he still could, what if…  
“Percy.”  
He couldn’t. He was the golden boy.  
“Percy, she’s still not feeling well. I don’t want to put it this way, but… If something happens, she’s the priority.”  
Percy nodded, wordless, looking straight into unusually serious blue eyes. He started to understand.

When Annabeth miscarried few days later, he couldn’t summon up the courage to look into her eyes. He’d been sitting on the verge of the bed for three hours now, holding her in his arms, silent, pale, motionless.  
“She needs rest, Percy. So do you.”  
Percy nodded, walking past tired Will Solace, quiet sympathy in his look.  
He tried to sleep, but he couldn’t. He lied on a bed in his empty cabin, tossing and turning, conversation in his head still as sharp as when he’d overheard it few hours earlier, walking aimlessly around the camp. Couple stood on porch of Hades cabin, Percy drew back as soon as he heard their hushed voices.  
“Nico, I think you should talk to Percy.”  
“He’ll knew soon anyway, he doesn’t need more sorrow.”  
“Then go because you’re his friend!”  
Nico knew. Nico knew what’s gonna happen, of course. But he wanted to protect him as long as possible. Percy didn’t blame him for that.  
“Who wants Son of Hades at times like that, anyway.”  
“Don’t give me that again, di Angelo.”  
There was a tinge of anger in Will’s voice. Nico sighed.  
“I wish I didn’t know it. Because one day it may be you, and I…”  
“I’m not going anywhere anytime soon, di Angelo, so cut this crap already.”  
Percy peeked around the corner just to see Will lean in and pull Nico in for a long, soft kiss.  
It hit Percy like an ocean wave. This boy, younger than Percy by good few years, had more guts and sense of responsibility than Percy’d ever had. Will made Nico stay in camp Half-Blood before Percy had even realized the boy was gonna leave.  
Percy moaned quietly, pulling the duvet over his head. He’d been a terrible friend.  
And now, he was the worst boyfriend, no, the worst fiancé ever.

When Annabeth decided to spend some time in her hometown, he didn’t oppose. He knew that was best for her, far from sorry looks, far from ruthful words of consolation. Percy still couldn’t believe this cheerful, energetic girl turned into gloomy shadow of her former self in just a day. But she was still his Annabeth.  
He could hear it over the phone, her voice more relaxed and firm with every time they talked. She didn’t say a word about the lost baby, and he didn’t ask. He knew there would be a day when she could talk about it calmly, but not yet. Not yet. She was forcing herself to return to normal. She was fighting for him, and something about it made him want to cry.  
Nico dropped by to take him to camp Half-Blood every now and then. Percy was thankful to him for those short getaways, he’d always been more attached to the Greek side anyway. He gladly accepted company of Jason and Piper, Daughter of Aphrodite always tried to cheer him up, and Percy didn’t even mind whether she used her magic or not.  
This time, it was just the beginning of summer holidays. All campers gathered together by the fire, singing, talking, bantering. Percy missed it so much. For the first time in many months he felt truly at home. From where he sat at Poseidon cabin’s table he glanced through campers, stopping abruptly when he saw Nico, usually alone by his table, now with Will, their fingers intertwined. Will was singing some ballad, all eyes on him. But none of them seemed to mind the attention.  
Percy slowly stood up from his half-eaten blue pancakes and wandered towards the wood, hoping that no one would notice. He winced, hearing his phone ring.  
“Annabeth?”  
Percy looked in the night sky, absent-mindedly continuing their usual small talk. He knew she needed it. How her day was, what she read, what she cooked. She seemed so happy over all of those little things. Or maybe Percy was supposed to think so? Annabeth was incredibly smart.  
He was the dense one.  
When they finished talking, he put the phone back in the pocket. Percy looked at raucous crowd by the fire, and turned his face to the depths of the forest.  
He’d always been the dense one.


End file.
